Maybe it’s time to send that thank-you note…

Hey Nonprofit Leader, What’s Keeping You Awake at Night?

We spend a lot of time talking about the ask—how to identify the right donor, what story to tell, which method to use, what time of day to do it (spoiler: not during dinner). Entire workshops, books, and webinars are devoted to this sacred moment when you finally muster up the courage to say, “Would you consider making a gift of…?”

And when the donor says yes? Sweet relief! You mark them off your list, take a victory lap around the office, and move on to the next ask. Job done, right?

Not quite.

If fundraising is a cycle—and it is—then “the ask” is only one pedal stroke. The part that keeps the cycle moving forward, that truly makes it sustainable, is what comes next: gratitude.

Sure, you send the perfunctory tax acknowledgment (because, well, legal reasons). But the real work—and real magic—happens in how you thank, recognize, and engage your donors. That’s what transforms a one-time gift into a long-term relationship.

Here’s the truth: relationships don’t thrive on annual appeals alone. Imagine only hearing from a friend once a year—and only when they need to borrow money. Not great, right?

Instead, think of your donors the way you think of your best friends. You check in. You share wins and challenges. You laugh, maybe cry, and show up for each other. So why not do the same with your donors?

Start small:

• Send a handwritten note.

• Pick up the phone and say thanks.

• Invite them to a client graduation or tour.

• Host a casual “Coffee with the ED” gathering.

• Ask for advice, not just a check.

In fact, there’s a classic fundraising mantra:“If you want advice, ask for money. If you want money, ask for advice.”

It sounds backward—but it’s not. Asking for someone’s perspective shows respect. It opens the door to trust, engagement, and yes, future giving.

One Executive Director I know calls three donors every morning on her commute—just to share updates and hear what’s new in their world. Another invites donors in monthly for coffee and conversation. Neither one is asking for money. They’re building friendships. And guess what? Their fundraising numbers reflect it.

Want to sleep better at night, nonprofit leader? Shift your focus from “How do I get this donation?” to “How do I make this donor feel like a valued partner in our mission?”

Because when donors feel appreciated, they stick around. And when they stick around, you just might find that fundraising gets a whole lot easier—and sleep gets a whole lot deeper.